Do you ever wake in the middle of the night and feel like a light bulb experience has happened without even really coming fully concious? I know that sounds silly, but it is truely somethng I do every now and then. I woke up at 4:30 as I do almost every morning and the name Emma Grace was running through my mind. The thoughts dainty, beautiful flowing soft brown hair, innocent and so darn cute, is how I remembered her. She was a patient of mine several years ago and I just fell in love with her and her family. I remember the parents of this toddler as being the neatest couple. I had only been married several months and I always asked the couples that "looked" as if they had it together what their secret to happiness in their marriage was. I remember Emma Grace sitting in the bed, with her daddy tenderly tending to her trach, which was impressive for any man to tackle, and describing their past decade of marraige. He said, "get your traveling out of the way. Go wherever you want to go before you start having babies." He shared with me the places they traveled and the incredible places they saw. Oh I could just dream of all the places in my mind right now. He said "I am thankful we did all of the traveling then because now we have 3 little ones and it would be interesting to see us travel as a party of 5!. I remember that Emma Grace's mother was picking the other 2 up from daycare and school and I thought about how crazy there life was now compared to 5 short years ago. I wish I could remember his name... oh well. I do remember him saying, "you just never know when God will give you an Emma Grace. I wouldn't take nothing in this world for her though." as he changed her clothes. He said, "our marriage is stronger because of her." This conversation really hit home this morning. No I don't have a child with multiple life limiting health problems, but I do have a situation that could either make or break a marriage.
A good friend reminded me yesterday of the incredible marriage I have. You know I am reading the book So long, insecurities, and it really is pulling out all of them and one is the fear of all of this pulling our marriage apart. It is a legitamate fear. I have seen marriages ruined from situations similar to ours. So I asked this friend to pray that Jonathan and I continue to grow closer. I will say over the past 4 months we have grown closer than we have been in the 11 years of loving one another. Just this morning I asked him if I could pray Psalms 91 over us today. {chuckle} His reply was, well Reagan will pee in the floor if you don't do it quick. Yes, when that pup's paws hit the floor in the morning she is serious about her 1st pee-pee. So I scooped her up and held her and began reading the Psalm. In the middle of reading it through my tears I realized that Jonathan was holding me and reading along. So there the 3 of us standing at the front door praying out to God that "He be our Lord, El Shaddai, the God Who is more than enough, Jehova Jireh, Jehova Rapha, Jehova Tisidkenu, Jehovah Shalom, Jehova Nissi, Jehovah Rapha, Jehovah Shammah, the possessor of heaven and earth, is our God. We trust in Him... He is our refuge and our fortress, our God, in Him do we trust... We shall not be afraid... Because we have made the Lord which is our refuge, even the Most High, our habitation, there shal no evil befall us, neither shall any plague come nigh our dwelling. For He shall give His angles charge over us, to keep us in all our ways.... We have set our love upon Him; therefore, He will deliver us. He will set us on high, because we have known His name. We shall call upon Him, and He {will answer us. He will be with us in trouble; He will deliver us and honor us. With long life will He satisfy us and show us His salvation." I realize what an amazing God I serve and how blessed I am with my Husband Jonathan, but when you look at it in a different light you get a different perspective. {light bulb on now} God chose {us} to walk this difficult road together because He knew {our marriage} would withstand it. He trust us with the {little things} so that He can trust us with the {larger things}. Get what I am saying? I am totally not tooting our horn hear I am simply explaining a mear fact. Jonathan and I are like a puzzle, we are miserable without one another {as our friends experienced the 7 years we dated} but when put together you can't pull us apart. We just fit and it is obvious the strength we have together through Christ. I know that without Christ we would have divorced in our early twenties and spent the rest of our lives dreaming of being together again. We can be in the same room and just feel what the other is thinking. That is partly because when we were dating I asked God to make the process speed up so that I could know and read him like a book. Back to the point from my ADDness... God chose us, just as He chose the couple to raise Emma Grace. I am humbled at the fact that He feels like we are strong enough to withstand this storm and come out victorious and that He trust us to use it for His Glory. I told a friend last night, "I am not going through this hell for just myself". I would love to have a resource from someone who has been through this same Christian walk that I could grab during these sleepless nights. Sure I know several women who I can call, but come on, I can't call them 30 times out of the day, or night for their Godly advise! And let's face it when your in the storm you pick up the Bible and it's like the pages all run together.
I will share with you one source that I have and it was written by Jackie Mize. She titled it Prayers and Promises for Supernatural Childbirth.The chapters include of course multitudes of scriptures and life experiences on how to deal with fear and thoughts before pregnancy and through out the entire "mothering process. I highly recommend it to anyone that may come to your mind when reading this. A friend ordered it for me and I discussed in a previous post from BAM. You can get the full version and a pocket size too. I keep that one in my purse. Although it is good it doesn't go into detail of other things that come with this walk.
I say all this not only to see the scripture once again, but to encourage all of you single ladies, married ladies and any one needing to trust God in a situation. I do not describe my morning or marraige boastfully, but to give you hope through Christ Jesus in your situation. Weather you are caring for your "Emma Grace", praying for a husband, praying for God's direction, praying for a baby, or any situation that you {need} to know if He hears you... He does! He gave us that promise in Psalms 91! So walk today knowing that He hears your prayers and cries to Him. This is truely something I have to remind myself daily through his Word.
Be blessed today and say a prayer for us as Jonathan is at his first OV at the REACH clinic in Charlotte. I am praying they give us a good report of the "best swimmies they have ever seen". He would kill me if He knew I put that out there. Oh well! At this point I don't care... I need people praying for us!
So maybe with my "Emma Grace" epiphany Jonathan will give up the name {Reese} for the name {Emma Grace} or even {Emma-Joy}. We shall see!
In His Grip,
G
Abundance is... Having Psalms 91 hold onto today! Incredible friends and prayer worriors popping up all over the place. I truely thank you for your many text, emails and most of all holding us up in prayer during this walk. We truely could not have taken another step without you. We {will} cross over this Red Sea on dry land! Oh and...8 hour shifts where I don't have to work weekends!
Oh yeah I almost forgot to share with you Hebrews 10:24-25 "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near." {NLT}
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
What does it mean to be Highly Favored?
This is an old post that I never published and I was looking back over the past few month's post and found it. Hope it helps you as you read it. I know I needed it today! Be blessed! and Highly Favored!
In Luke 1:45 when Mary visited Elizabeth, Elizabeth said to her "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!", or in the NKJV it says "you are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said". Is that what made Mary different?? She believed God would do what He said?? Is it that unusual?? Isn't it amazing!! The Lord does the talking, the Lord does the work, then we get blessed because we believe Him. I heard the best definition of favor, Lance Wallnau said "favor is the influence of God flowing through you that causes others to do things for you".
When you realize favor is happening, it's pretty cool to watch.
(Along the lines of "I will bless those who bless you.")
Luke 1:45 "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished".
What has the Lord promised you? There is something about getting it out there that seems to get the ball rolling. So just say it....what is it?
Deuteronomy 7:15 (The Message)
13-15 He will bless the babies from your womb and the harvest of grain, new wine, and oil from your fields; he'll bless the calves from your herds and lambs from your flocks in the country he promised your ancestors that he'd give you. You'll be blessed beyond all other peoples: no sterility or barrenness in you or your animals. God will get rid of all sickness. And all the evil afflictions you experienced in Egypt he'll put not on you but on those who hate you.
Concerning Total Life Prosperity:
Jesus is the Apostle and High Priest over my profession, and what I profess is the Word of God concerning favor over my life (Hebrews 3:1).
The Lord helps me to guard the door of my mouth and trains me not to speak against His favor at work in my life (Psalm 141:3, AMP).
I will not allow any corrupt communication to proceed out of my mouth. Instead, I will speak only that which is good, full of grace and edifying to others (Ephesians 4:29).
As the righteousness of God, I declare that I am favorable in Gods sight (Job 33:26, AMP; Psalm 5:12; Proverbs 14:9).
Like Joseph, I prosper wherever I go and in every situation I am in because the Lord is always with me. I, too, experience preferential treatment (Genesis 39:1-6, 21).
I am blessed and highly favored (Luke 1:28).
I associate with those who are blessed and highly favored so that I may increase in every area of my life (Genesis 30:27).
I operate in integrity; as a result, I obtain favor from God (Proverbs 11:27; 12:2).
I actively seek and live by Gods wisdom; therefore, I am highly favored and esteemed in the sight of God and men (Proverbs 3:1-4; 8:33-35).
I declare that Gods favor promotes and causes me to increase daily (Esther 2:17; Psalm 75:6-7).
The Lord takes pleasure in my total life prosperity (Psalm 35:27).
Because I am Gods favorite, I prosper in every area of my life-spiritually, physically, financially, socially and mentally (3 John 2).
Because the favor of God shields me, no sickness or disease has a right to live in my body (Deuteronomy 7:15; Psalm 5:12).
Wealth and riches are in my house because I am empowered with His anointing and favor to draw wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18; Psalm 112:3).
Jesus is the Apostle and High Priest over my profession, and what I profess is the Word of God concerning favor over my life (Hebrews 3:1).
The Lord helps me to guard the door of my mouth and trains me not to speak against His favor at work in my life (Psalm 141:3, AMP).
I will not allow any corrupt communication to proceed out of my mouth. Instead, I will speak only that which is good, full of grace and edifying to others (Ephesians 4:29).
As the righteousness of God, I declare that I am favorable in Gods sight (Job 33:26, AMP; Psalm 5:12; Proverbs 14:9).
Like Joseph, I prosper wherever I go and in every situation I am in because the Lord is always with me. I, too, experience preferential treatment (Genesis 39:1-6, 21).
I am blessed and highly favored (Luke 1:28).
I associate with those who are blessed and highly favored so that I may increase in every area of my life (Genesis 30:27).
I operate in integrity; as a result, I obtain favor from God (Proverbs 11:27; 12:2).
I actively seek and live by Gods wisdom; therefore, I am highly favored and esteemed in the sight of God and men (Proverbs 3:1-4; 8:33-35).
I declare that Gods favor promotes and causes me to increase daily (Esther 2:17; Psalm 75:6-7).
The Lord takes pleasure in my total life prosperity (Psalm 35:27).
Because I am Gods favorite, I prosper in every area of my life-spiritually, physically, financially, socially and mentally (3 John 2).
Because the favor of God shields me, no sickness or disease has a right to live in my body (Deuteronomy 7:15; Psalm 5:12).
In Luke 1:45 when Mary visited Elizabeth, Elizabeth said to her "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!", or in the NKJV it says "you are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said". Is that what made Mary different?? She believed God would do what He said?? Is it that unusual?? Isn't it amazing!! The Lord does the talking, the Lord does the work, then we get blessed because we believe Him. I heard the best definition of favor, Lance Wallnau said "favor is the influence of God flowing through you that causes others to do things for you".
When you realize favor is happening, it's pretty cool to watch.
(Along the lines of "I will bless those who bless you.")
Luke 1:45 "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished".
What has the Lord promised you? There is something about getting it out there that seems to get the ball rolling. So just say it....what is it?
Deuteronomy 7:15 (The Message)
13-15 He will bless the babies from your womb and the harvest of grain, new wine, and oil from your fields; he'll bless the calves from your herds and lambs from your flocks in the country he promised your ancestors that he'd give you. You'll be blessed beyond all other peoples: no sterility or barrenness in you or your animals. God will get rid of all sickness. And all the evil afflictions you experienced in Egypt he'll put not on you but on those who hate you.
Concerning Total Life Prosperity:
Jesus is the Apostle and High Priest over my profession, and what I profess is the Word of God concerning favor over my life (Hebrews 3:1).
The Lord helps me to guard the door of my mouth and trains me not to speak against His favor at work in my life (Psalm 141:3, AMP).
I will not allow any corrupt communication to proceed out of my mouth. Instead, I will speak only that which is good, full of grace and edifying to others (Ephesians 4:29).
As the righteousness of God, I declare that I am favorable in Gods sight (Job 33:26, AMP; Psalm 5:12; Proverbs 14:9).
Like Joseph, I prosper wherever I go and in every situation I am in because the Lord is always with me. I, too, experience preferential treatment (Genesis 39:1-6, 21).
I am blessed and highly favored (Luke 1:28).
I associate with those who are blessed and highly favored so that I may increase in every area of my life (Genesis 30:27).
I operate in integrity; as a result, I obtain favor from God (Proverbs 11:27; 12:2).
I actively seek and live by Gods wisdom; therefore, I am highly favored and esteemed in the sight of God and men (Proverbs 3:1-4; 8:33-35).
I declare that Gods favor promotes and causes me to increase daily (Esther 2:17; Psalm 75:6-7).
The Lord takes pleasure in my total life prosperity (Psalm 35:27).
Because I am Gods favorite, I prosper in every area of my life-spiritually, physically, financially, socially and mentally (3 John 2).
Because the favor of God shields me, no sickness or disease has a right to live in my body (Deuteronomy 7:15; Psalm 5:12).
Wealth and riches are in my house because I am empowered with His anointing and favor to draw wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18; Psalm 112:3).
Jesus is the Apostle and High Priest over my profession, and what I profess is the Word of God concerning favor over my life (Hebrews 3:1).
The Lord helps me to guard the door of my mouth and trains me not to speak against His favor at work in my life (Psalm 141:3, AMP).
I will not allow any corrupt communication to proceed out of my mouth. Instead, I will speak only that which is good, full of grace and edifying to others (Ephesians 4:29).
As the righteousness of God, I declare that I am favorable in Gods sight (Job 33:26, AMP; Psalm 5:12; Proverbs 14:9).
Like Joseph, I prosper wherever I go and in every situation I am in because the Lord is always with me. I, too, experience preferential treatment (Genesis 39:1-6, 21).
I am blessed and highly favored (Luke 1:28).
I associate with those who are blessed and highly favored so that I may increase in every area of my life (Genesis 30:27).
I operate in integrity; as a result, I obtain favor from God (Proverbs 11:27; 12:2).
I actively seek and live by Gods wisdom; therefore, I am highly favored and esteemed in the sight of God and men (Proverbs 3:1-4; 8:33-35).
I declare that Gods favor promotes and causes me to increase daily (Esther 2:17; Psalm 75:6-7).
The Lord takes pleasure in my total life prosperity (Psalm 35:27).
Because I am Gods favorite, I prosper in every area of my life-spiritually, physically, financially, socially and mentally (3 John 2).
Because the favor of God shields me, no sickness or disease has a right to live in my body (Deuteronomy 7:15; Psalm 5:12).
Worth it {ALL}...
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
This weekend a Peninnah entered my life. One that I knew I would face. He told me I would face her. I thought I was prepared and maybe I was, but it sent me down a spinning spiral. There is just so much that hits you when you face your worst fear. It was like a punch in the chest, you know the kind that takes the breath out of you. The trailing words of "it's God's will" and "we are still praying for you" echo in my mind as the fear recreates its self. My first thought after hearing these words were "are you truely praying for us?" or did you just say it out of your own guilt? Do you truely make it a point to say out our names to God in prayer or do you just think in pitty about us? I have never heard from you after you lifted up a prayer for us. It has been incredibly hard to sleep and not hear the echo of my fear of my nightmare coming true. My prayer is that I will be able to live with this Peninnah and not become bitter with her. I would {never} want to hurt her. That is my prayer above all "that this to shall pass". I know in my sensitive broken state that I am trying to see beyond my own pain, but in all of this I want to scream from the roof tops, "I am not handeling this very well!" I want so badly for this Peninnah to see beyond herself for once and ask me how I am doing. Sounds selfish I know, but it is true I have never heard from her lips, "how are you" witha sincere concern instead of a nonchalant notion. For once I would like to be on the receiving end. I am way to much of a Martha when it comes to this. I guess that is too much to ask as I sit here praying that someone would tell me this is all a sick joke and I will wake up soon from this nightmare. My insecurity is screaming inside and I can not hold back the tears. Sorry to be so transparent, it is the truth and it will set me free. God forgive me for reacting this way and teach me to handle this the way you would have me breath. I, in my flesh, am so weak and beaten. I truely need you to carry me and remind me of your scars and your blood. Please speak to my spirit that {it will be worth it all} Now more than ever I need you to lift my head unto the hills so I can be reminded of where my hope comes from. I need to feel the warmth of your embrace. Please give me strength to see beyond my own self and focus whole heartedly on You. Less of me and more of You Father.
My husband has been praying Psalms 91 over me and other scriptures that I need to hear. I thank God for him and for the scriptures to kling to without it over the past 48 hours I would have broken to the lowest point ever. I will admit I have need to have the Word of God spoken over me to take captive every thought. Yes, this God praying women can not pray for herself in this beaten state. I will share with you later the book a friend ordered for me that is full of scriptures and prayers. I am so incredibly thankful for the hope found in scriptures. I could not imagine walking this road alone without the hope of knowing He is in control and the hope of the promises found in His Words.
It will be {worth} it, it will be {worth} it all, I {believe}! Maybe a book will be birthed out of all of this. I truely feel like I am feeling the contractions of a birthing that's for sure! I wonder what Rita Springer was going through when she wrote the song? It would be neet to hear her story. For anyone who read as I poured out my heart, we need your prayers. I need you to speak scripture over Jonathan and I. When God drops us into your mind please let us know. We need to know He has sent worriors to hold us up. I have been completely transparent in this post and do not seek pitty from anyone. These are growing pains and pruning pains. I truely wrote this incredibly long blog to "get it off my chest" and let others know that they are not alone. We all grow through these days and nights and weeks and years... so I am sharing the burden because that is what we are told to do through His Words. So that we may lift one another up in petition through prayer. I pray for you who are experiencing a Peninnah. For those of you who have no idea what I am referring to, just read 1 Sammuel and you will understand. Peninnah's can be in the form of anything, it doesn't have to be a person, just anything that distracts you. I pray that it will cause you to push harder and pour your burdens all out at the alter and desperately seek His face. I want to remind you that {It will be worth it all}!
Psalm 91(The Message)
You who sit down in the High God's presence,
spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you,
harm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
14-16 "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
"I'll get you out of any trouble.
I'll give you the best of care
if you'll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I'll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!"
In His Grip,
Jen
Abundance is... an incredible husband who holds me when I am broken, who speaks over me words of hope. Not to mention he is a pretty hot date too... had a wonderful time Friday night on our date sweety. Without you I would be a hot mess. Realization that my insecurity is not being able to produce a family for my husband... thanks to Beth on her incredible study of So Long, Insecurity, you have been a bad friend to us. Your right 80% of the things we worry over we have no control of. Who was I to think that {I} can produce another person and produce happiness that will come with it? Beth this is incredibly hard to expose for sure! Now I am mad... shooting rattlesnakes mad! LOL
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