To start off with, everyone knows Superwomen has a cape, right? So if I could choose what color I wanted my cape, I would choose white. Mainly because that is the color of towels that I have on hand in this laundry pile. My leotard would consist of a nursing tank because that is the first thing I could grab before collapsing in bed last night. My tights would be lavender plaid...my pajama bottoms that were on the next shelf down from the nursing tank. It may not be as color coordinated as the "real" Superwomen and my boots may be stashed in the back of the closet, but I've earned my title. Not from other mothers but from my son and daughter. They are the only ones who can crown a true Super Mom and think she is the best super hero in the world!
Today I had a friend send me words of encouragement on the morning of a sleepless night. Her words were "You are doing an awesome job with your babies. You are still nursing which is impressive, working out regularly, eating clean and still finding time to work. You are super woman!" It was then I realized that I accidentally had her fooled. She and I went to high school together and still stayed in touch through Facebook. What she knew about me was through mutual friends, my status post and Instagram. She recently had a baby and was feeling over whelmed and felt things such as cleaning house and dinner prep came easy to me. I had "impressed" her because I was "still nursing Eden" at 7 months strong. Me being the transparent friend that I am, I Responded to her message by saying "I'm in no way super women! I was queen of the grouch yesterday. I came home from a work out and bit everyone's head off before I dug into some kind of frozen grain nasty burger and Brussels sprouts that I scarfed down like Oreos. Yesterday felt like a complete fail. Some days are just like that. So I just pray for 8 hrs sleep and the next day to be better..... I'm trying to figure out a stylish way to wear a fanny pack with two garbage bags tied to it... One for trash other for laundry.lol.....Around the 16 week mark I normally loose my mind and cry every day when J comes home. It's just such an adjustment he doesn't understand and that's fine. It frustrating to not have the dishes out if the sink and laundry folded etc. I'm learning to let it go. My goal is to feed everyone including the dogs. Brush everyone's teeth. Keep diapers dry, clothes dry and maybe baths for everyone. Sometimes I have to ask J if I've had a bath in the past 24 hrs! Being a mommy is the toughest job ever. I'm sorry if I make it look easy...I've totally fooled you! It's not! I work from home when I can. Not a set schedule. And not 8+ hrs a day."
She didn't mean to judge me based on the post she had seen but the fact is that's what we all do. I can promise you that the mother who you feel has it "all together" does not. If you had a one on one conversation with her you would see she struggles too.
Breastfeeding does not come easy to me. I have to work diligently and sleeplessly to keep my supply up. It makes me feel hungry all the time and drained. I supplement one bottle a day to give myself a break and allow my husband to "take over" for at least one feeding. This allows me to feed myself or shower and quite possibly brush my teeth. I will be the first to admit that I put myself last to the demands of the day. The kids come first and the dogs demand second place by barking at the door relentlessly. I make myself go to work out two nights a week at a place that doesn't care if I have my kids in tow. If I don't commit to going somewhere with a trainer then I simply won't do it. For me it helps me regain my sanity to be around other full grown humans. After putting myself through bootcamp to the point of exhaustion there is no way I'm going through a drive thru just to regret it on bootcamp day. I try to eat healthy and organic and clean, but truth is I don't have many resources where I live and taking two kids to the grocery store is the equivalent of a root canal without lidocaine to me. So some nights it's simply something frozen or boiled eggs and what ever is left over. I have learned the value of a crock pot to a mother and I can promise you on the day it dies I will purchase another one that day with amazon prime! That's just one of my survival kit must haves.
Today I read a comment on @k8_smallthings IG post of a new mother who looked up to her for being able to nurse and thanked her for her transparency and faith. That's all women need. We need other women to be transparent and to share their survival tips at motherhood. If you are comparing your survival skills to someone else's then your always going to find someone who has found a better way. We have each been formed in a different womb with different DNA and we may look similar with eyes, nose and a mouth and think similar but never the same. That's why I want to be transparent with you and share my insecurities, struggles and every day happenings with you so that you can see that your not alone. Indeed there are women every day who are struggling to juggle work stress, dishes and diapers. It's a tough job that never ends at least our true prayer is that it doesn't. And even though we collapse in bed only to remember that load of laundry that was left in the washing machine, all of the hard work is not in vain. Our children are the only ones who can crown us Super Mom in their eyes. So if today is one of those hard days stop what you are doing and go grab your baby up or open a picture on your phone if your at work and remind yourself that those little eyes think you are the best Super Mom in the world and that is all that matters today. Your children will rise and call you blessed!
Eyes wide open with tooth picks,
Jenny
Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
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