From An Awakened Eye

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

For you my friend

If I could I would send you all flowers, but instead I will post what I would wish to send you and a few words I would attach to it...

Today I found a friend
who knew everything I felt
she knew my weakness
and the problems I've been dealt.
She understood my wonders
and listened to my dreams,
she listened to how I felt about life and love
and knew what it all means.
Not once did she interrupt me
or tell me I was wrong
she understood what I was going through
and promised she'd stay long.
I reached out to this friend,
to show her that I care
to pull her close and let her know
how much I need her there.
I went to hold her hand
to pull her a bit nearer
and I realized this perfect friend I found
was someone to hold dearer.

So many of my dear friends are having a hard Summer. It is definately not the kind of Summer you would choose, but the one you find yourself in every day. Just as the heat of the day consumes you, so does your difficult journey.   I want to send this letter letting you know you are heavey on my heart and consumed in my prayers. I watch as some of you beaten and battered pick up the pieces and strap your boots back on and keep walking your journey. I have also watched some of you recluse your self from the world and wish tomorrow will never come or that the journey would end.  My heart is heavy.  I want to see you all happy mothers consumed in joy and living the lives you have all dreamed of. For some reason God sees that your journey is not over. Maybe because His timing is perfect and ours is not. Maybe it's to prepare your heart to become a mother because He knows your heart is not ready just yet. I don't know why and honestly don't ask why to God anymore. I have learned that He knows best even if I don't like it. 
 In my heart of hearts today I want to tell you to not loose your fight. Yes, this is probably the one thing in your life that you would most like to change, but have no power to change. Please, please, please don't loose sight of the Lifter of your head.  Know that when it happens and you have life in your womb it will all be worth it. Every single tear, heart ache, rip in your heart, stab in your chest, gasp for the lost breath, and just plain worn out body... it will all be worth it.
  I always asked myself, how can I not think about my cycle day and the dissapointment every month? How can I just relax? The answer I found is that "I" can't do this anymore. It was not my place to carry the load of when life would actually be in my womb, it was God's. I had a moment of surrender in the midst of all the lab work, ultrasounds and cycle days and I just gave it all to Him. I didn't give up, NO, I kept up the fight and knew that I drew my strenght from the Lord.
  So I beg you... walk out of your tent!  Stop asking God to look at the situation you are in. He knows!  Do you really think He will say to you "gosh, you are tormented and in a horrible place."? No, He will say right back to you, "Look in front of you at my {promises}, see all that I have promised you?" Please make some type of movement to get yourself out of your tent. God will not force you to move, He will only provide the strength. Please move... either to the floor from the bed or outside to see the sunshine. Please open His Word and find the Living Word and fill yourself with the Living Water. You are famished and dehydrated and shriviling. I can not pour the Word down your throat nor give it to you in and IV dose, you must do it yourself! Genisis 12, 15
  I want to share a true story with you that a dear friend shared with me. Her cousin wanted a baby for 15 years. She prayed for God to give her a child and  still no baby. She didn't have resources for medical care or investigation so that wasn't an option, she just had to wait. She planned a way to end her life and knew when she would do it. I don't know the details but she was late on her period as she always was and for some reason she felt like she needed to take a pregnany test. IT WAS POSITIVE!  If she would have carried out her plan to kill herself she would have killed her baby too! She had no idea she was pregnant nor did she feel like she was 6 weeks along. The fact is, she could have taken matters into her own hands and ended a dream she would have never known she posessed. Think about it.
  Friend, as I hold you dearer today please know that I am here lifting your name in prayer. Please keep the faith. It WILL happen. God is faithful.  Even when we don't see how or know when, He is faithful.  

Your friend,


  1. Hey Ginny! How's life treating you friend? I hope you are feeling well and aren't battling too badly with any morning sickness. I saw this post last night as I was laying in bed. I went to your blog after reading that 2 facebook friends were pregnant. One was a month behind where I should be and was about to find out what she is having. I had to remind myself to rejoice for her now matter how hard it is to me, so I added both friends to my prayer list. Thank you for this post bc I REALLY needed it last night with Charlie out of town. Love you.

  2. Thank you for this post. I really like what you said about looking forward. Sometimes God shows me things as I'm praying and I've recently seen myself hiding close to Him. I saw myself hidden and as if I were in a fetal position, worried and fearful of what might happen if I take another step. Then it was as if His wing was gently pushing me forward, telling me that He would be there guiding me and giving me strength, but He was gently pushing me to take the next step, telling me to walk in His promises and trust Him. {just thought i'd share}

  3. Sweet Words :) And yes, God is faithful. Somedays its easier to embrace all of these thoughts than others, but we keep walking don't search of that promise :)

    Many HUGS and congrats to you!