From An Awakened Eye

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Where did it go?

 The weekend flew by and I'm not sure where it went. I did get to hang out with my Maw-Maw while J went to the football game. We had a great time chatting. She told me, "well, your not showing yet."  It was cute. I didn't argue and just let her talk. I guess the shirt I had on made it hard to see the little bump. I did post pics for all to see on my pregnancy blog. I do see the need to teach J about lighting and posing... lol he just snapped at anything, saying "well it's digital."  Next time I will bring out the full length mirror so I can see what he is snapping at! It was fun, and we laughed, so that was good.
 Yesterday was busy. I had not planned on it being that way. I made a trip to Womb Consignment and picked up a dress she was holding for me and a couple other cute items that will cary me into the Fall. It is hard to believe I am FINALLY buying maternity clothes. I am so very thankful to finally have this opportunity. It is wonderful!
  J & I had lunch at Los Arcos... I woke up dreaming about it so we had to go. He didn't fuss, it is his favorite! We actually had a lunch date, alone!  Rarity! Someone always ends up going with us or meeting us there. shrug. it was good for the 2 of us because he had to dj a wedding Sat night. So while he did that I took the girls to the pool. My mom met me there with my cousin's 3 kids... long story, but my mom is keeping them for a while. They are 5,6,8... yes little ones, all in school. I can't imagine starting over again like that. My mom is a trooper for sure!
 After church this morning we had lunch with them at Cracker Barrel. I had a 1300 calorie lunch as J said, but I didn't feel bad, his was at least 1250! lol. I brought half home and had it after my 3 hour nap! Crazy I know, but I am soaking in all the sleep I can grab.
  Speaking of sleep I better grab a few more Z's before the work week begins.

Friday, August 20, 2010

What I love most about today

1.It's FRIDAY!!!!  It has been a horrible week at work with cranky demanding patients and hard to get along with co-workers and I am SOOOOOO ready for the weekend.
2.Its the 1st day of my 2nd trimester!!! Wha-hoo!! we are all set to grow baby grow!  We should find out the gender of our baby in a few weeks, so that is exciting!
3.Date night with my honey tonight... looks like we will be going to a high school football game! Like old times. Can't say I'm thrilled about it, but it will be fun and it's in my home town so I will get to sneak in a visit to my Grandmother's... she lives across the street from the football stadium.
4.It is the last night of VBS, not planning on going tonight either, it's family night so it's a little different than the usual night of VBS.  It has been a crazy week with VBS every night and it has really kicked my tush! I didn't make it past 8:15 last night... I didn't go to VBS and ended up falling asleep on the couch watching LA Ink. I don't know why I find that show intriguing? I just like to see what type of tats people choose.
5. It is the beginning of a great weekend ahead. No plans, just time and sleep ahead. Which will give me the chance to edit and post 1 year pics of a dear friends little girl and other things I have wanted to do the past 3 weeks. I am praying for zero headaches this weekend so I can check off the list of things-to-do.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Busy Monday leads to a busy week

It is so hard for me to focus today!  My mind is racing of all the things I need to do here at work and at home. I am in a spinning tornado of thoughts today. Good thoughts though, nothing to stressing or demanding on my emotions or mind. Just a BIG todo list and not a lot of time this week. We have VBS this week and this is going to consume J & I and I just hate it for our furry babies. Next year I won't be able to help with a 5 mo old on my hip... which I am so looking forward to!  That's another thing, I really don't "feel" pregnant yet. Other than smell oversions, eating like a tenage boy and gaining nothing, and a tiny pooch... I don't "feel" preggo yet. So I am waiting to wake up one morning and "feel" pregnant. 
  We have our first OB appt tomorrow!  I am excited to see my old practice again, it will feel like home. J is trying like a mad man to get off early to go. The baby will look like a baby this time!  I can't wait!
  In my randomness today I found a very cool site I love what she has done with this site. I feel the same way... I want to support those going through where I have been. She is writting a book too. Which by the way I have 28 weeks to finish this book or it will be another28 years before it's published!  I have the chapters outlined and I am working on the intro... why is that he hardest part?
  I also found this lady Journey to the end of our rainbow. She is due with in a few days of me. Hopefully I will be able to find out her name and compare notes. I am not fond of word press, so I couldn't find her name on her blog.
 Also read about Jess here. I love reading success stories after infertility!  I also loved her post today on Infertility Hindsite.  Very good lesson to learn from Jess... we reap what we sow.

  Anyway, I feel like a kid at Disney who can't decide to ride flying dumbo or walk through the castle to get an ice cream on the other side from the Plaza Ice Cream Parlor!. 
  Happy Monday and I will share an update tomorrow on "Promise".



Tuesday, August 10, 2010

For you my friend

If I could I would send you all flowers, but instead I will post what I would wish to send you and a few words I would attach to it...

Today I found a friend
who knew everything I felt
she knew my weakness
and the problems I've been dealt.
She understood my wonders
and listened to my dreams,
she listened to how I felt about life and love
and knew what it all means.
Not once did she interrupt me
or tell me I was wrong
she understood what I was going through
and promised she'd stay long.
I reached out to this friend,
to show her that I care
to pull her close and let her know
how much I need her there.
I went to hold her hand
to pull her a bit nearer
and I realized this perfect friend I found
was someone to hold dearer.

So many of my dear friends are having a hard Summer. It is definately not the kind of Summer you would choose, but the one you find yourself in every day. Just as the heat of the day consumes you, so does your difficult journey.   I want to send this letter letting you know you are heavey on my heart and consumed in my prayers. I watch as some of you beaten and battered pick up the pieces and strap your boots back on and keep walking your journey. I have also watched some of you recluse your self from the world and wish tomorrow will never come or that the journey would end.  My heart is heavy.  I want to see you all happy mothers consumed in joy and living the lives you have all dreamed of. For some reason God sees that your journey is not over. Maybe because His timing is perfect and ours is not. Maybe it's to prepare your heart to become a mother because He knows your heart is not ready just yet. I don't know why and honestly don't ask why to God anymore. I have learned that He knows best even if I don't like it. 
 In my heart of hearts today I want to tell you to not loose your fight. Yes, this is probably the one thing in your life that you would most like to change, but have no power to change. Please, please, please don't loose sight of the Lifter of your head.  Know that when it happens and you have life in your womb it will all be worth it. Every single tear, heart ache, rip in your heart, stab in your chest, gasp for the lost breath, and just plain worn out body... it will all be worth it.
  I always asked myself, how can I not think about my cycle day and the dissapointment every month? How can I just relax? The answer I found is that "I" can't do this anymore. It was not my place to carry the load of when life would actually be in my womb, it was God's. I had a moment of surrender in the midst of all the lab work, ultrasounds and cycle days and I just gave it all to Him. I didn't give up, NO, I kept up the fight and knew that I drew my strenght from the Lord.
  So I beg you... walk out of your tent!  Stop asking God to look at the situation you are in. He knows!  Do you really think He will say to you "gosh, you are tormented and in a horrible place."? No, He will say right back to you, "Look in front of you at my {promises}, see all that I have promised you?" Please make some type of movement to get yourself out of your tent. God will not force you to move, He will only provide the strength. Please move... either to the floor from the bed or outside to see the sunshine. Please open His Word and find the Living Word and fill yourself with the Living Water. You are famished and dehydrated and shriviling. I can not pour the Word down your throat nor give it to you in and IV dose, you must do it yourself! Genisis 12, 15
  I want to share a true story with you that a dear friend shared with me. Her cousin wanted a baby for 15 years. She prayed for God to give her a child and  still no baby. She didn't have resources for medical care or investigation so that wasn't an option, she just had to wait. She planned a way to end her life and knew when she would do it. I don't know the details but she was late on her period as she always was and for some reason she felt like she needed to take a pregnany test. IT WAS POSITIVE!  If she would have carried out her plan to kill herself she would have killed her baby too! She had no idea she was pregnant nor did she feel like she was 6 weeks along. The fact is, she could have taken matters into her own hands and ended a dream she would have never known she posessed. Think about it.
  Friend, as I hold you dearer today please know that I am here lifting your name in prayer. Please keep the faith. It WILL happen. God is faithful.  Even when we don't see how or know when, He is faithful.  

Your friend,

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Consignment Sales Gallore

Since my first experience at a baby shower 2 years ago I have wanted to know more about consignment sales... The BIG ones in the area! At this shower several moms had become quite good at consigning their stuff and buying an entire seasonal wardrobe for their tot. Intrigued? I was!  These moms trade in their kids clothes toys and stuff for the next season and the one lady said she spent $80 on an entire girls fall wardrobe!!! (Size 4T) Tell me more...
  So my first Big consignment sale was here in Gastonia at the First Pres. It was amazing! Friends bought Janie and Jack outfits for a few bucks! I bought a light weight stroller for $10 that is in excellent condition. That retails for $99.00. Similar to this one, but all black and gray.
I also bought a Graco stroller combo set for $90 very similar to this one...retails for about $280.
Also in the Spring I went to another consignment sale in Waxhaw and spent $27 on lots of goodies I am already using, like the Pregnancy Journal  $3 that retails for 19.99 (s/h) and What to Expect When Your Expecting for $2 retails for 19.99 (s/h).  I saved $35 off the top with these brand new books! You can see that post  here.
Yes... I bought all this when we were praying for a baby and I am glad I did!
So this week I want to go see what goodies I can find at the Tot Trade in Cabarrus. Anyone what to join me?  If your praying for a baby... faith is not enough, move on your faith as James did. If you already have a kiddo... then what are you waiting for?   Let's go consigning!!! 
Also Womb Maternity Consignment in Charlotte looks like a fun stop on the way!!!  

Abundance is... dreaming today...peace...hope in His promises.
Praising God today for 9 weeks of my promise.
Praying for sweet friends and hope that God {will}
speak life into their womb when they are doubting God.
Fear: False Evidence Against Reality
In His Grip,