From An Awakened Eye

Monday, January 25, 2010

It's a new day!

Recently I have been dreading going to work. Things have been unpleasant and just dreadful. So last night I "commanded my morning" in the name of Jesus.  And it worked! I am focused and not distracted by the things at work. My work is almost completed for the day and it is only half way over!  You know by comanding my morning I had a different feeling about my self this morning. I still have the same feelings about this place, but that's ok, I don't have to let it affect my attitude today. It's a new day!

Have you ever been at the end of your rope?  Well I was there this weekend. I needed scriptures and someone to pray for me, yes this prayer worrior couldn't even pray for herself. Several weeks ago at one of Jonathan's basket ball games a friend, Sara, was sitting beside me and she prayed over me and the desire to have a baby. You know it makes all the difference in the world when someone prays over you who has been there!  She said that there is a book she read while going through the same thing. It is a book of prayers and scriptures. Being such a good friend, she went that night to B.A.M. and ordered it for me. Well I picked it up yesterday and read the whole thing!  It was full of scripture specific to how I need to pray and what I need to claim in Jesus name. It reminded me of my "contract" (promises from God written in His Word). One thing is for sure, I love being reminded of my promise of my contract!  It is empowering! 
Sara, I just want to thank you for bearing my burden yesterday. I needed the support and encouragement. You were my "Aaron" when I needed one! You said it, that we are to bear one anothers burdens to fullfill the instructions of Him and to be in obedience.
So here I am back on my feet, alittle stumbly and wobbly, but standing with my armour on!  Thanks God for placing obedient people in my life to pour and help when I can't help myself.
Abundance is...
Philippians 4:12-13 (New International Version)

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

It will be worth it all

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its works as that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Today I am thanking James for writing the above scripture. As I read it I think about pure joy? I want to say "seriously James, pure joy?" At this time in James life he was experiencing the death of many Christians, including Stephen, and other "members in the church" as we would call it today. I can just see it...them going to meet at Stephen's place and saying, "hey where is Stephen?" (or so-and-so) "he's dead".  How horrible! Christians were fleeing Jerusalem to Judea and Samaria (Acts 1:8).  And in the midst of all of this James writes to them, and us, to consider these trials ALL JOY! He is telling us to look beyond the painful surface at the small picture, (1 Corinthians 13:12 (The Message) We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!)because we only see through the glass dimly lit, and look for what God was doing in spite of it all. I can hear him (James) say, "guys it will be worth it, in the end this trial will be worth it."

 Joanna Weaver, a wonderful vessel used by God to author "Having a Mary Hearth in a Martha World", wrote this very true statement, "The trouble, of course, is that most of the time we'd rather not persevere. We all want a testimony, but we'd rather skip the test that gives us one. We all want a product. But we'd rather skip the process."

A process takes time and that is something I am not willing to face. I of course want it now! Because a process is most of the time painful emotionally, physically and mentally.  There isn't a pill to "fix" the process.  There isn't a magic answer that anyone can give you... it is a process. Sometimes one of purification, readjusting and remolding. We all know this process is just plain hard.  We all have our time  on the "processing wheel".  I foolishly set a timeline in which "i just know" God will be finished with processing me.

Time is something I am use to giving God, although I do not like it.  I am not sure of the significance of the # 7 in my life, but it took 7 years of "process" to marry the "man of my dreams". 3 years in solitude and depression, 2 years of being at a college in the "desert", 2 years of betrayal from friends, which totals... you guessed it 7! I have been in this quiet place with him quite often. I must need a lot of processing! One thing is for sure, I have came out different every time. Which I am assuming this means the process worked!

So here I am again looking at the end of year 1 of this "process".  The good thing is I am not alone this time!  We all know support is good. Sharing things with others is too! Which is why God placed it on my heart to open a prayer blog.  I tend to be a pretty private person. I'm not sure if it is because of insecurities or what, so it has been incredible to be in this with others.

Today has been one of those days where J can just look at me and I cry, I don't, I hold it back. I have never been a cry baby.  This whole thing is new to me I am sure may be worse once I am pregnant. I'm sure he senses when I am having a hard  day because at the right moment he slips in an unexpected, "I love you" or look.

So today I think on these things, "whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." {Phil 4:8}.  And also on James 1:2-4 as above.

Abundance is... celebrating  with family Drew's 1st birthday,  friends that have walked similar paths and came out victorious,  a wonderful husband that is sensitive to my feelings,  Braylee wanting to be as close to me as possible today. She is asleep in my lap between me and the laptop!  She senses mommy's hurting heart too.  

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


This is an email i received today... enjoy!

"When I say that 'I am a Christian,' I am not shouting that 'I am clean living.'

I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not claiming to be perfect.

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!
Today is Beautiful Christian Woman's Day.

Pretty is as Pretty does but, Beautiful is just plain Beautiful."

-author unknown

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Girl's Day Out

It has been an awesome Sat.. My girls Cassie and Autumn met for lunch at McAllister's we all ordered veggie chili taco salad and H20. It was oh so yummy! And then we hit the mall for VS semi annual sale for the upcoming lingerie shower! That store is oh so fun, but not as fun as the look on Autumn's face when we have to explain stuff!  She was the only Bachelorette in the bunch today so we had to fill her What a mess!

Then I picked the other "girls" up from the groomer. They looked so cute after their new do with the valentine scarves!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Living in Faith today

Habrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.


Kelly's Korner: Show Us Your Life - Diets, Exercise Programs, Weight loss ideas

Kelly's Korner: Show Us Your Life - Diets, Exercise Programs, Weight loss ideas: ""

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Too Cute not to share!

These are invitations for my God-Sister Natalie. She hung out at my house tonight and we created these OH SO CUTE invites! She was super excited about the monogramed damask chair! (The girl is Damask crazy! The whole wedding will be pouring damask! Which I love!) I am super excited to be Natalie's Matron of honor! I love planning showers! I can't help it... I go all out! Maybe because hospitality is one of my spiritual gifts? Such a Martha... trying to be a Mary though, thanks to the wonderful book I am reading! (listed on my blog)
She also went on a shopping spree @ G's Borrowed Closet!  She loaded a whole wardrobe in her car to enjoy on her honeymoon!  I did the same last summer with my friend Meredith and it was so much fun!  You feel like you have spent 1000s of $ and in reality you kept your purse in the car!  
Watch out Chris! 


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A holy makeover

"Not one sparrow … can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't worry! You are more valuable to him than many sparrows" (Jesus in Matthew 10:29-31, TLB).

So if He cares about the sparrows, then I know he cares about the details of my pregnancy to come.  In the past year my prayer has been for our "Sammuel" to come when he is due on this earth. (not that we are praying for a boy or anything) In looking at the story of Hannah and how she wept in the temple uncontrolably, she wanted God to remember her. I know He will remember me no doubt. So I am praying for the detail of this pregnancy and here is my list of the desires of my heart. He places them there for a reason so I am speaking them in faith! I want a holy makeover before this baby is even conceived. I want to be a clean vessel that will be used by God to carry the "Sammuel" he gives us. Again I am praying these things in faith before we even conceive... we aren't pregnant yet. But this is my faith in action...
1. Healthy baby in all ultrasound pitcures.
2. No scarry defects that are not seen correctly in u/s. (I have seen way to many people get upset over nothing)
3. No nausea or vomiting in the first trimester. ( I am prone to nausea in the AM anyway, so it has been a fear that a pregnancy would cause it to escelate.)
4. No stretch marks (silly I know, but I will already be self concious about my thighs and I do not want marks on them that I will have to forever cover up)
5. wonderful birthing experience, no complications
1. To stay focused on the destiny of the baby/pregnancy.
2. Covering from fear over my thoughts; staying positive in proclaiming God's will over the baby.
1. Grow closer to God, close my ears and eyes to my carnal and open my eyes and ears to the spiritual as it says in Isaiah.
2. Mature more in the Word and hiding it in my heart. Specifically remembering references on where it is located in the Bible.
3. I want to be obedient and teachable "You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees"(119:68).

 1 Sammuel 1:19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, [c] saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him."

This keeps pounding in my heart... "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Prov 3:5". My trust is in you Father. Your will be done.

Whew... faith isn't easy! That's for sure! But it is the only hope I have... In Him!

Abundance is... a loving husband who takes care of me when I can't take care of myself mentally.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sweet tea please!

This has been a long week so far.  But maybe this fast is getting to me!  I am craving sweet tea and a hamburger!  Ok God I am dying to my flesh tonight.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

A new beninning

Last night was the 1st service of Catalyst and it was incredible!  Months of praying, fasting, planning and seeking God became well worth the investment!  He is so incredible! His strategic plan unveiled.  How amazing it was to see 109 faces and not all were familiar!  That is is whole point! To reach the unchurched and show them that God too has a strategic plan for their life.
For those reading, you must know by now how much I believe in the power of prayer in numbers. I would ask you to pray for those in Gaston county and the surrounding counties, who are lost in this world, who have left church for whatever reason, who are looking for something more in this life, that they would find Catalyst.  I pray right now and call them in from the North, East, South and West in the name of Jesus. I want to see the addicted, depressed, homosexual, abused & homeless find the love of Christ. Father I pray that through your Spirit you would draw them in.  Equip us with the knowledge and wisdom of You. The volunteers to love on these people and share their transformation in You.  I ask even greater than I can imagine or put into words. God you are Holy and I am looking to You for the unimaginable!


Abundance is...
an incredible God who answers prayers, a wonderful church home that supports us in the vision God has placed in us, a warm place to have Catalyst, an incredible Pastor and associate Pastor, gift cards to Bi-lo to pay the grocery bill, warm spiced chai tea, fuzzy pink socks, comfort, security.... My God is so GREAT!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Passion 2010

Wow there aren't words to describe how awesome God is. The Passion 2010 confrence showed just a glimpse of how BIG God is and how He is moving globally!  This past weekend, 22,000 students (ages 18-25) from America gathered in the name of Jesus at the Passion 2010 Confrence and boy did they leave a mark! Not only in ALT but globally!
Do Something Now  was a global outreach from the students that gathered in ATL. Visit the site and you will be blown away!

This is a blurb from the site:
"Together, we can make a massive difference in the lives of people around the globe in Jesus' name.

That's the heartbeat behind Passion Conferences and our Do Something Now Campaign, a movement that to date has funneled close to two million dollars to those in greatest need throughout the world. At the core of it all is a desire to wed worship and justice, believing that what God wants most is not just another song, but a reflection of His love and mercy among the poor, the imprisoned, the voiceless and the oppressed.
As a result, no Passion gathering will simply be an event you attend. Rather, together we want to shift into action as we partner with amazing causes throughout the world. While it's true that none of us can meet the needs alone, it's also true that united we can do something exceptional for His fame"
The Passion team is lead by Louie Giglio keeps a blog about their tour. They have also published a book that captures their first world tour Awakening that captures the faces and hearts of the people around the world. It took me about 2 hours to look through this awesome diary.  It shows the movement that God is doing globally.  This thing just isn't an American movement. God is calling the generation that will see his return to arise and awaken!!!! I am blown away by Him! Check out Jan 7th blog to see the total of what we in Envoy had the humbling experience to be a part of!

With all of this plus Catalyst beginning this Saturday, I am humbled at the thought of what God will bring in 2010! I am expecting the unexpectable!

Abundance is...
having dinner with my Great Aunts, Eloise and Adora, Uncle John, Mom, Dad & my hubby.  Wonderful shower with clean HOT water. 2 clean doozles. Clean sheets. Warm beautiful home. Security.