Heart exposure...

What a wonderful weekend I had getting to know my sisters and Union Road Church. It was a wonderful experience as it always is when a group of women come together in One name in unity... WOW is there an amazing freedom in that atmosphere! I feel purified and grounded in Him. What an awesome feeling! The feeling of cleaning my spiritual house and dusting all the cob webs and moving the furniture around to make my "living room" more intimate for me and my Lord.
My Awakening
I have lived my life asleep for so long; just living life in vain.  The Lord has since shook me and awoke me in the past 8 months.  It was like he woke me from a deep sleep saying "What are you doing honey? Wake up! I have given you and assignment here on earth, now get to movin'!" 
Once I "snapped out of it", this hunger for MORE of Him arose. This has come from a simple cry through a dark lonely dreary awakening, that I had created. My cry was for "more of you and less of me" even when I didn't "feel like it."  We all have the same experience as the woman with the issue of blood... desperate, no hope, finding ourselves on our knees crawling to grasp something more. Some grasp companionship of man, some depression or oppression of the past and this leaves them in the same cold, dark, isolated place.
Coping mechanisms
 I held onto isolation, due to past hurt of other Christian girls (high school/college), all along thinking I was protecting myself by preventing close friendships. It is only when I found myself at the end of my rope with no hope in sight that I realized that something has to give, something has to change in order to live another day. The downward spiral of depression was sucking the life out of me. It was literally stealing my joy and my days as a breathing Christian.
Exposure of the heart
Over the past weekend God reminded me of the details that the woman with the issue of blood must have experienced. Mat. 9:20-22;Mar 5:25-34; Luke 8:43-47. Although her issue was shameful, she had to risk the chance of exposure to her family and those who knew her in the crowd in order to find her miracle. It is when we find ourselves "exposed" that we experience the most freedom! The only hope is to reach for the hem of His garment, not caring who sees us or what is said, in the midst of loosing all pride and humbling our will and desires to reach His.
Overcoming the remnants
When we reach this point it is not easy.  I'm sure she went back home in her soiled clothes having to deal with the remnants of her issue, but there was hope because through her faith she was healed! Through her we can learn that Jesus honors our faith, however small. He is approachable in every circumstance. He has compassion on the needy who come to Him in faith. He sometimes allows circumstances to enter our lives that reduce us to desperation so that we will reach out for Him.
How incredibly amazing is the Lord of Lords! Who came to this earth in human form so that we could relate and receive a small understanding to how great He is and how awesome His mercy, grace and love is for us.
Living room intimacy 
He created us to love Him as He loves us. He longs to spend time in the "living room" with us. How amazing is it that even when we are too busy to stop by the living room, He is always there waiting on us to come and sit with Him.  His love is unconditional.
I encourage you to do as Matthew 6:6 "When you pray,go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  These rewards will came in the form of freedom and peace knowing that I can "cast all my cares on Him". I don't have to carry a heavy load, for His "yolk is easy and burden is light".

Try to look at God in a different perspective...
"He has no interest in being a weekend getaway or a Sunday bungalow or a summer cottage. Don't consider using God as a vacation cabin or an eventual retirement home. He wants you under His roof now and always. He wants to be your mailing address, your point of reference; He wants to be your home." (Max Lucado "The Great House of God")


Isaiah 28:12 "This is the resting place, let the weary rest."


Have a blessed night and know you are not the only one to experience a heart exposure, but be assured it is so worth it!


EWO,


Jen