From An Awakened Eye

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A new outlook... goals, dream and ambitions

So I've been thinking... and I have come up with a  I need a new routine and I am super excited for what the future holds. So much change is coming our way and I am excited and at the same time feel lost in a whirlwind of the every day dull routine. I feel like E's first 5 months have slipped through my fingers and I don't want the rest of his first year to feel the same.  I need goals. I need a check off list. I need a dream. I need ambitions!

For this almost 30 something girl, I am grabbing a new outlook and strapping on a new look with our new life changes. I am super excited and super pumped. So here goes...
   1st and foremost... Find a way to have more time through the week to enjoy my little family:
        1. Take walks to the park with the hubs and lil' e {lets make some memories with this lil boy}
    As for the weekend:
        1. Spend more time with the 3 of us instead of being apart most weekends.
        2. Make memories with friends & Family
        3. Revisit {date nights}

Personal goals:
     1. Scrapbook at least one page a month of Eli.
     2. loose 15 lbs by my anniversary.
     3. memorize more scripture verses- 1 a week... at least.
     4. develop a new sense of style... I feel like I have lost it and I need a new one anyway ;)
     5. spend more time in prayer

ok so that's 8 things on the list, I think that is a good start. So wish me luck.

In the mean time I have several girlies on my mind today... one of my besties Julie. She has been struggling with infertility for 12+ years and it is my hearts desire that she not feel left behind. I am praying that God opens new doors for her and her hubs soon. She is such a trooper and I admire her optimism. It will happen!

Also a dear childhood friend, Heather, lost her mom 8 weeks ago to cancer. My heart just aches. I feel as though they were just both at my baby shower standing at the bottom of the staircase watching me open presents. Insert deep breath here. Life is just so precious. I am reminded of that every day I pass by the cemetery where we laid Donna to rest. It's just all to surreal.

So as I pray for them I am reminded of why my eyes are wide open and how quickly life can change. If you are reading this post and need me to add you to my prayer list, please leave a comment. I will help you pray for anything that may be your hearts desire.

I also want to share a precious website that is deer to my heart... Stepping Stones. This site is so precious in sharing support for those who have experienced loss, infertility or death of a child.  I couldn't find this post on their site, but I wanted to share this email I received from them. If you or anyone you know could benefit from this please share.


Dear Stepping Stones Readers,

In addition to the regular issues of the Stepping Stones newsletter, we are sending you this brief Stepping Stones Extra for August 2011. We hope you are blessed by this Extra!

When You Are Hoping and Coping: Four Dangers to Avoid*

By Sylvia Van Regenmorter

There are no simple solutions for dealing with the frustrations, disappointment, and sense of loss that infertility or miscarriage can bring into our lives. But unless we are careful, we can needlessly add to our own pain. Below are four suggestions for avoiding additional pain as you cope with fertility challenges:

No. 1: Avoid Isolation

Dr. Anthony Labrum, an OB/GYN who specializes in infertility, stresses that infertile couples should avoid self-imposed isolation. Husbands and wives need to feel welcome to talk to someone about their problems, he says, without fearing that they may make their listeners uncomfortable.
I wholeheartedly concur! It's vital to find other couples or individuals with whom you can share mutual concerns. Since about one in six couples will experience an infertility problem, there are probably people in your church or circle of acquaintances who face the same kinds of challenges you do.
At the very least, find one person with whom you can feel welcome to talk about problems in an atmosphere of mutual trust and understanding. To carry the burden of infertility and not be able to share your frustrations with others who understand can add to your sense of desolation.
During the height of my struggle with infertility, I met two other Christian women through my contacts with RESOLVE, a national infertility support organization. We talked often. Eventually we formed a support group. It was one of the most helpful steps I took in coming to grips with the difficulties of infertility.

Stepping Stones, the infertility ministry of Bethany Christian Services, maintains a list of local support groups on its website. Check for a group that may be meeting in your area.
If you can't find a good support group in your area, consider starting one. Yes, it's work, but you and those who join you will find that the effort yields new friendships that energize and heal. Stepping Stones offers a helpful resource guide for those who wish to start a support group. It's called When Two or More Gather: Starting an Infertility Support Group. For ordering information, visit
Through the Internet you can connect with others a world away. Several chat rooms, discussion forums, and e-mail support groups are available, including the Stepping Stones discussion forum,

No. 2: Avoid Energy Depleters

Pastor Bill Hybels of Willow Creek Church tells a story that goes something like this:
One night he came home and his wife said, "Oh, Bill, don't forget-tonight we're invited over to the Millers."
His immediate reaction was to groan and say, "Oh, no, not the Millers! He is so boring! Besides, he always quizzes me about the church and how I think things can be improved. When I go over to the Millers, all I do all evening is sneak a look at my watch to see if it's 9 p.m. so we can decently say good night and go home. The minutes drag by when I'm with the Millers."
A week later, his wife told him they were going to a different couple's house for dinner.
"Oh, we're going over to Dennis and Judy's? Good! I always enjoy talking to Dennis. When I'm with him, I don't know where the time goes. Before I realize it, its midnight and we're still going strong, laughing and joking and having a great time. I leave Dennis and Judy's place feeling energized and not depleted."
Infertility is an extremely depleting experience. The last thing we infertile couples need is to spend time with people who'll deplete us even more. Don't be rude, of course, but carefully consider this question before accepting invitations: Is there a good chance that we'll leave this social event feeling energized and renewed? Or is there a good chance we'll leave feeling depressed, discouraged, and very tired?
Of course, there are some social engagements we can't avoid no matter how depleting they may be. But try to minimize interaction with energy depleters and maximize involvement with people who help you feel comfortable, relaxed, and ready to face life once more.

No. 3: Avoid Treatment Burn-Out

It may be healthy, on rare occasions, to take a short break from medical treatment if it becomes too emotionally draining. This should never be done without consulting your physician. But a month or more of freedom from a treatment routine may significantly improve your outlook on life.
As one person put it, "Suspending treatment for a couple of months was such a treat! It rejuvenated me physically and allowed me to reconnect with my husband emotionally and sexually. It was great to live like a normal married couple for a while. I felt better prepared to continue the difficult work of infertility treatment."

No. 4: Avoid Depending on Human Power

I simply want to encourage you with this thought: If frustration, pain, and difficult decisions are gnawing away at your emotional reserves, there's a power available to help. When you consistently take your concerns to the Lord, you plug into the power you need to cope effectively.
Evelyn Christenson, author of What Happens When Women Pray, tells a powerful story of the importance of prayer. One day her husband, who is a pastor, walked out of the sanctuary of the church and saw the church custodian dripping with perspiration. He was a giant of a Christian, but sadly, he was losing his ability to think clearly because of hardening of the arteries. In his hands was a vacuum cleaner, and he was busily vacuuming the floor of the sanctuary. The problem was that the cord to the vacuum was lying on the floor unplugged! The poor man had vacuumed the whole floor, but he hadn't plugged into the power.
When traveling down the road of infertility, it's easy to forget the power of prayer. But it holds the greatest potential to help you cope...and hope.

*Parts of this article were adapted from When the Cradle Is Empty (Tyndale, 2004)

1 comment:

  1. Sweet Friend,

    Hello! First off, I will be praying for both Julie and Heather. Infertility is so difficult to deal with and I have walked the journey with a dear childhood friend. She struggled 12 years and now has a beautiful baby girl through the miracle of adoption. Addison and Lleyton are 11 months apart. I felt so guilty that she had to experience my pregnancy, but she always reminds me that it brought her such JOY. She also reminded me that I was the one who "understood" the journey when so many others didn't. Now, we just celebrate our babies together.

    As for your friend who lost her Mom, my heart is with her, as there are just no words. I lost my Father at a young age and that was and is still difficult, but to lose your Mother, that's a whole other hurt. I'll be praying for her.

    And now on to you...way to go girl setting those goals and making your list! I always do so well when I'm organized in thought and on paper :) Making a plan does help to ease the pressure of being a new mom. Now, go lightly on yourself if you don't accomplish everything when you want to ;) As for the weight loss, I'm right there with you! I now have 15 pounds to lose and I want to do it by the time we go to the beach for my Mother's 60th birthday in late September...and I'll be turning 39, YIKES! Monday, I joined Weight Watchers on line, as I wanted a structured plan and its working great and is easy! And of course I'm working out. So here's to us losing the fluff! I'm cheering you on!

    Much love to you sweet friend...I think of you often and send hugs and prayers for all things wonderful.