From An Awakened Eye

Sunday, March 14, 2010

"Spirit of Natalie"

Today is the wedding day of my God-Sister Natalie. {3-13-10} (I am writing this much later than I wanted because of the craziness of yesterday)  I am the Matron of Honor and the duties are endless. My goal today is to absorb anything that could go wrong.  I am prepared to be on the look out and on Bride patrol.  I will start by telling you how my day started...
  My nervous tummy woke me at 6:30 AM before the sun even rose, or at least I thought it was just my tummy!  My stomach was in flutters for her. I remember how I felt the day of my wedding and every time a close friend gets married I get that feeling all over again. Today was different, I got up then quickly returned to bed to try for another 45 min of beauty rest, you guys know I like to sleep. {wink}  I placed my hot pink eye mask with black closed eyelashes embroidered on it over my eyes to avoid the sunrise bothering me and I just laid there. Then I began to cry. Not just any cry, it was from the depths of my being. I felt God's presence so incredibly strong it overwhelmed me. I tried to hold it in so I wouldn't wake Jonathan, but it was impossible I was overtaken by the presence of His throne room.  Have any of you had a throne room experience?  I have seen others have them at women's retreats and church. I have even had a few myself, but this one was different.... I was completely consumed!
 Let me let you in on something, I have been asking God to take me deep into Him and out of this world so that He can refresh my spirit, mind and body.  I have asked for a out pouring of His Spirit on me because I can not live this life any longer without knowing He is hearing my prayers. I have felt like maybe I was praying for the wrong thing and He wasn't answering because I was "way off base" with my prayers. Have you ever felt like He wasn't hearing you or that you may be praying the wrong thing?  I have truly found and lived the true meaning of the word {Faith} the past few months. It has a whole new profound place in my life.
 So back to the "awakening experience" this morning. I'm in bed sobbing from the depths and He speaks to me.  He poured out His thoughts into my mind and it was an experience I will never forget! It was out of the blue and completely unexpected. He began to speak to me and assure me that He had heard my cry and I have moved His heart.  He said that He would give us a baby girl in His timing and the reason He has not done this sooner is because of the destiny that He has on her life and she "will move the hearts of many". The "Spirit of Natalie" will be upon her and He will protect her from this tainted world. She will have a fear for Him and through Him she will do great things for the Kingdom.  Then He said "I will take you deep, very deep in Me for her forthcoming. Peace will now reside in you all the days of her life."  Yeah... I was speechless too!  {eyes wide open for sure} I mean blown away by the fact that {I} have moved the heart of God!  He has heard my cry!
 After I came out of His throne room I was shaking and still consumed by His presence.   Of all days He new I need this encounter today. As God was speaking all of this to me I prophesied all this out loud to Jonathan simultaneously so he heard all of it too. By the end of it all he was holding onto me as if he wanted to feel His presence too.  I immediately called Vickie, Natalie's mom, I had to find out the meaning of Natalie's name.  Her dad, Chris, answered the phone and I asked him. He said, "um, I'm not sure, my brain is kinda fried right now." He was officiating the ceremony of his daughter and was a wreck, so he handed the phone to Vickie and she told me that the name {Natalie} means "Christmas Child".  I explained the whole experience to her and she said, "well I have been praying for you hours a day since we spoke last Saturday."  I told her that I could tell! {eyes wide open}
So I kept asking God what He means by the spirit of Natalie?  Of course He answered... although it took the whole day to understand it.  I know I couldn't take the waiting either.  It all comes down to "the spirit of {giving}.  She will be a giving child. As I stood beside Natalie today in her breath taking beauty her dad spoke of how she has always given to others even before thinking of herself.  Her mother told me during our early morning phone conversation that when Natalie was little she would get so excited for others on their birthday when they were receiving gifts. Truly thrilled for them, sitting back being gentle and quiet, not rushing the birthday girl because she wanted to see the new gift for herself.
  I looked at her and she has truly become a Proverbs 31 women. I was blown away by the fact that God will give me a child with such demeanor and patience. Untainted and pure to stand one day beside her groom. I know that is rushing it, but really that's how I interpreted His words.  I truly feel the effects of God's rewards for mine and Jonathan's obedience to Him.  "May the Almighty bless you with the blessings of the heavens above, blessings of the earth beneath, and blessings of the breast and {womb} Gen. 49:25.
  The other thing I forgot to let you in on was I have been praying for her personality and demeanor. "Be full of peace - a calm, sweet spirit and tender heart." Is. 54:13  I have also spoke against the fear of bringing her up in this world and His protection upon her to protect her from the evil that is here. It is a cruel world and especially on women, {right Beth?} "For thou hat possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. Psalms 139:13.
Another take on the "Christmas child"is the fact that we consider it to be the time when the "promised child came to earth."  He has promised her to me and she will one day fulfill the destiny of living here on earth. She will be a {promise} that I have been chosen to one day carry. "Thus saith the Lord that made me, and formed thee from the womb, which will help thee: Fear not, Oh {Jennifer} my servant; and thou {Jonathan} whom I have chosen. Is 44:2.  So like I posted several days ago... isn't God {Amazing}?
Oh, and you thought it stopped there? Nope!  Friday I visited a new chiropractor, Dr. Melanie Trexler, who is an incredible Christian women. I haven't seen a chiropractor since we have been married (almost 5 years) but I have seen on in the past for migraine headaches and was healed through it. So I had the day off because of the wedding and I had a 9:30 appointment that lasted until 10:40!  She started with a nerve scan to see which nerves are irritated from the vertebra being miss aligned. I "scored high" on 4 areas. #1 was between my upper shoulder blades, which contributes to my sinus and headache problems, I have known of this problem area for years. #2 was around mid-back it controls the stomach and intestines. (I didn't tell her I was having reflux issues for the past month) but I did tell her that it takes an "act of congress" to make the "depths of me move." I blamed that on being a woman and the commonality of this and just shrugged my shoulders like, yeah that was T.M.I.  #3 was the one in the lower back and well... it is the one that controls the ovaries and uterus.  Yep, I was thinking... "you've got to be kidding me?" Pastor Lane prayed that our bodies align for the forming of this child in like um... January!  #4 you guessed it, it gets better... my legs were 1/4 in. off in length. The right leg was 1/4 inch shorter than the left. That may not mean much to you, but to me, the legs are attached to the pelvis and well that is what holds the uterus!  The exact parts we have been praying to align.   I am just blown away as I laid on the adjustment table with tears streaming and worship music in the back ground singing praises of healing.  I could not believe it!  Autumn was right, Melanie's gift is {healing hands}.  It makes me realize how God uses us for the destiny of others. He moves through us because He is not here in the flesh anymore. Remember I was talking about the {Faith} word earlier?
So I am just overwhelmed by His promise of the Promise that is yet to come through {me}.  Undeserving, sinful {me} who by {Grace} is covered and made {clean} by the cleansing of the {blood} that was shed on Calvary.

Whew... that was a lot to fill you in on. The crazy thing is... this is only half of it!  Yeah 1/2! I will have to tell you the rest in person. So keep praying because this {mother} will need to be continually covered in prayer. I do not want the Enemy to come and "steal, kill and destroy" this promise that God has given me.  God will knit her in my womb in His timing.  He said that I was going to go {deep} and I need you guys covering me all the way.



  1. AWESOME!!! Love it. I'm definitely praying for you daily:)

  2. LOVE IT! Love what God is doing. {tear} So happy He's revealing things to you and speaking to you. So excited to see what God is doing!