From An Awakened Eye

Friday, June 25, 2010

He is Faithful

    I set the alarm for 6:30 this morning. To get a shower, actually shave my legs and get by the store to pick up a few last minute things for the party, but I kept hitting snooze. I ran out of the house with my hair freshly dried and scrubs slightly wrinkled, they fall out within an hour. Off to my chiropractic appointment at 8. While waiting for Dr. Melanie to open {I am her 1st appt of the day} I heard a beautiful song by Carey Roberts. I have no Idea who she is, but the song  lyrics went like this, "No matter what I'm going to love you, no matter what I'm going to find you." It was an incredible song that reminded me that I have to keep loving God and seeking him. I want to with all of my heart to "get back into the game" and the song helped me to regain focus. So today is a good day.
  Well today is the day Dr. T wants me to take a HPT. I REALLY don't want to. I spotted on Tue and figured it was over. I have done this before and started on the usual day I was due.  So I told myself and anyone that asked that it was "a negative" this go around. So in obedience to my MD I stopped by Wal-mart and bought the darn thing. I didn't have the same feelings that I normally did, actually no feelings at all, just as if I was buying a coke or something mundane. Now I knew it would tell me the same results, but I wanted to tell someone, "just checking to see... I had insemination 2 weeks ago and the doctors orders are to take one of these darn HPT today." No idea why I had that urge. I think if the sweet older African American gentleman would have given me one more second in his look, I would have blurted it out! (the whole I had IUI 2weeks ago spiel.) Instead I just smiled replied "good how are you" and kept walking. I was excited that I saved a dollar with the coupon on the front of the hpt box and there were several inside that I know I will be using for later IUI's.
  So I ran home to dip it... yeah I had saved the 1st morning's in a tiny plastic cup and sat it on the back of the toilet. TMI I know but hey I don't do #1 alot in the day, so I had to save it. I remember telling J, "these things never shock me, maybe one day they will"...Okay on to the story of dipping the stick that I so dreadfully didn't want to do. So I dipped the stick, counted to 5 one thousand and recapped it and laid on the back of the toilet. To pass the three minutes I clipped the coupons that were on the instructions for another PG test and OV test, laughed about the OV test and tossed the rest of the instructions in the trash.

 I picked up the HPT and wiped my eyes, I had {2} pink lines, wait a sec {wiping the eyes} and moving to better lighting, I yelled "Babe" in unbelievement. He replied "yeah". I walked into the laundry room holding the stick with {2} pink lines and said, "we have {2} pink lines" Still not believing my eyes. I laid  it on the washing machine and just watched it get darker and darker. By this time I have no idea if the 3 minutes had passed, which was totally not like me, I always time it by the book. He grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug with tears in his eyes. I believe this was the deepest cry that I have ever cried to God in thankfulness to an answered prayer.  I remember bursting into tears saying "I don't believe it yet." I think I kept saying over and over, "we have {2} pink lines". He returned to ironing his shirt and said "yeah I can see them from here!"
So I was wrong...We are FINALLY PREGNANT!
 I was praising God and putting my hands on my belly saying to Him, "if there really is life in here, THANK YOU." I threw my hands up in praise and cried some more. I am still in shock. I totally knew it would be negative. I had coped with that on Tuesday. I had put my game face on got "back in the game". 
  I called Selena at the clinic and stumbled when I left the message on the machine, "This is Jennifer, and um, I don't have my medical record number, but my birthday is ..., and I have {Two} pink lines on the HPT and I think we need to confirm with a serum test. She called me back 15 min later and chuckled saying "so you have two pink lines huh?" and advise that I come in for labs. So off to the clinic I went and waited several hours for the results.
 Around 1:32 Selena called with the results.
Jennifer: "This is Jennifer"
Selena: "This is Selena from the Reach clinic."
Jennifer: "Hi Selena, how are you today."
Selena: "Your doing really good today!"
Jennifer: "I am"
Selena: "Yes you are, you are definitely pregnant."
She then proceeded to tell me the HCG was 119 and the PG was 16.9 and she wanted me to come in on Monday for labs.

Praise you Father for giving me this Promise!
I am still in "stick" shock,
and will have to look at the test again when I get home.
I will not believe it until I hear a heart beat.
Father, I thank you for speaking life into my womb.
You have heard my prayer
and We are so thankful for this Promise 
that you have spoke into existence.
You are faithful!
So faithful!

To all of the burden bearers who have prayed countless hours for us, {thank you}!
It is because of you that countless days I found strength in Him to get out of bed to face another day. It is because of your prayers, support and kind precious words that I held onto the hope found only in the Creator of Life.  I can not wait to see what He has in mind for this precious Promise that we have a eagerly awaited and prayed for.  Our Promise will be due here on earth March 2011!  HE IS FAITHFUL!

To all of you ladies in the waiting for your Promise, know that He is faithful. He hears your prayers and heart longing for a child. He will answer you and comfort you during your wait. Surround yourselves with those who understand to pray for you and uplift you in the promises of God. He is your only hope in your time of desperation.  I have not forgotten you, I have not jumped off your boat and left you behind. I am remaining on the boat with you rowing just as hard as you are for {Your Promise}. Every time I think of my Promise I pray for yours. Please know that I understand that it hurts to find out that God has spoken life once again into someone Else's womb other than your own. It hurts and is confusing and feels as if you have missed a promotion that you exceedingly qualify for.  Please don't take this as "another friend is pregnant", but see it as a miracle has been answered and yours is on the way too!  He will speak life into your womb and it will possibly be when you least expect it or when you most doubt it, as I did. I don't know when He will do it and only He knows when your baby is due to be here on earth. Look at Hannah with her son Samuel. What if Samuel would have came to earth years before his time, then the entire story of Jesus' life would be off a few years. Each baby has a purpose here in this earth and only He knows what people that child will touch, impact and move people's hearts for Him.

Abundance is...  life in my womb! After 18 months of begging God to bless us with a child. For this child I have prayed. I Sam. 1:27   He is Faithful!

Thank you Father for this precious gift of life inside me. I am amazed by your creation today and so very thankful for what you have done in me.

All my love,


  1. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm so excited for y'all!!

  2. so exciting jennifer! congratulations!


  4. I am so excited for you! God is faithful and good! So happy for you! :o)

  5. I am soooo happy for you guys. You are gonna be wonderful parents and this precious little one is such a blessing from God. Thank you God for hearing their prayers and blessing them with your grace and abundance.

  6. So excited for you both. God truly answers prayers. Love you, call you soon!